The Coolamity Crew
About the Authors
Simon Petocz and Andrew McCalman both began life as many do, small and fleshy, hell bent on providing the world with additional mischief. Unbeknownst to them, on opposite sides of the same city, they both explored, admired, and laughed at the world and its peculiarities.
A stern child, Simon took up drawing as a way to practice forcing himself to have a bad time. His plan soon backfired when he began drawing comics in highschool, achieving comedic success early on when his friends noticed one of the characters in his serious drama had a head shaped like a pear. Meanwhile, Andrew was reading of far-off adventures and growing a determination to recreate them in his own life. He spent many childhood years creating dangerously functional medieval armaments before his court-ordered transition to crafting tales instead of living them.
There followed several years of varying degrees of lucidity which culminated in their varying degrees at the Australian National University. Here, the fabled duo united over a mutual disgust for the post-satirical pseudo-irony that pervaded the School of Art. Andrew was armed only with coffee and Derrida to ward off sleep, battle stupidity, and charm the first years - which was going fine until he accidentally solved Ontology. Simon, meanwhile, began training as a reclusive genius, spending weeks in the basement creating shades of blue so pale they would cause blind men to weep. It was around this time he also developed his characteristic hunchback and tendency to shake his fist at the laughter of children.
Having laminated their qualifications and uncovered their only use as placemats, our heroes began to draw up an attack plan for later life, comprising mainly of drinking, gaming and the production of scribbles. Soon the lol-count began stacking up to dangerous levels, and safety dictated that their skills were destined to combine and give non-literal literary birth to the least literal literature that has seen the inside of a recycling bin.
The resounding high-five between Simon and Andrew woke the universe from its eons of slumber.
Like the great wisdom of better men passed to young folk around a fire, so too were the exploits of this mischievous pair emblazoned on the pages of history. They honed their skills with alcohol and would meet frequently to weave words into a cunning tapestry of hilarity.
Perhaps as part of his mission or on a whimsy, Andrew decided that the only place on earth that could house his strange mix of tomfoolery and outlandishness was Norway. There, in the frozen mountains of the far north, he sits in the snow, learning from the whispers on the wind and trying to out-meditate a tree.
Meanwhile Simon set about arranging the feng-shui of his bedroom for that of ultimate artistic power, and now spends his days working in graphic design, eating various grains, and sitting at his desk at home trying to get drawings done while cats climb on his face.
Kyle Neideck is a genius programmer who looks like a version of Jesus who’s spent all night watching cartoons. After Simon and Andrew spent several weeks ineptly toiling in html, Kyle’s eyes were so offended by their work that he was forced to put most of the site together himself, and then take several showers.